A History of Christian Archie Comics
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Much like any other child, I was always big into comic books as a kid. My seven year old mentality always leaned away from superhero fodder and more in the direction of, if you will, gay-er items. Comics that featured fuzzy bunnies or talking animals, adaptations of Hanna-Barbera cartoons, and certainly, the neutered teenage exploits of Archie Andrews, Jughead Jones, Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper, Reggie Mantle et al.
Hence, it was a frantic insanity that took over my little body during the second grade spring break when I discovered an old box of coverless comics in my grandma's basement. Flipping through the stack of old comics, I feigned apathy at things like Captain Marvel, a Dell movie adaptation of LAD: A Dog, and Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen (it was an issue that featured Don Rickles - the bizarre genius of this was something I wouldn't appreciate until I was full grown). What always grabbed my attention at that age were Archie comics. Whether the given title be Pals n' Gals, Pep, or Life with Archie, it did not matter. As long as it featured Jughead's misogyny and a page of Li'l Jinx that I was guaranteed never to laugh at, I was game.
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Since it had no cover, it would not be until a few years later that I would discover exactly what it was that I had read. It was called Archie's Something Else! written and drawn by an experienced Archie comics staffer named Al Hartley in 1975. It was over the top right wing, pro-Christian propaganda, cleverly disguised as a run-of-the-mill Archie comic. It featured a sequence in which Betty Cooper prays in the cafeteria prior to eating lunch. An exchange between Archie and a reporter visiting the school goes this way:
REPORTER: Archie, that girl over there... she seems to be falling asleep ...
ARCHIE: Oh, that's Betty. She's Praying!!!
REPORTER: Praying??? You mean that sort of thing goes on in this school?
JUGHEAD: Of course!!! A Lot of us thank the Lord for our food!
ARCHIE: We thank him for EVERYTHING!!!
REPORTER: Doesn't it EMBARRASS you to sit in front of your fellow students and say grace???
ARCHIE: We'd be embarrassed to sit in front of GOD and NOT say grace!!!
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The law put extreme restrictions on striking, just short of making it illegal altogether. Picketing would become illegal under the bill, as would solidarity striking, and companies were allowed to set up separate non-union shops, which in turn would make their secondary unionized shop illegal(!). The act also made it illegal for a labor union to donate to a political campaign, but of course not for a business owner or corporation to do the same. It also made strikes illegal that "imperiled the national health or safety," a phrase that has been interpreted broadly by successive governments. National health or safety is, apparently, in jeopardy anytime there is a large strike in America, according to those who wish to crush the protest. The law made it easier for employers to use the police to get rid of 'rogue' workers. Taft-Hartley included provisions for firing any and all employees (i.e. supervisors) who were not sympathetic to the company side, even if the employees in question were not members of the union or partaking in a labor disruption. Another stipulation required union leaders to file affidavits declaring that they were not members of the Communist Party. These are just some of the bill's endless points, all of which were solely in favor of the employer, and today, big corporate business. In short, it was wide sweeping, brutal and devastating.
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So, this was the father of the man whose rendering of Archie and the gang filled me with the sense of having been touched. The young Al Hartley was still in his twenties when his father was busy dismantling the labor movement. Al had been freelancing, doing various work with different comic outfits and newspapers. In the early sixties he would find himself working for Marvel comics and hitting his stride illustrating many of the "girl" titles like Patty Powers, Sherry the Showgirl, Linda Carter: Student Nurse and Patsy Walker: The Prettiest Gal in Town!
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Hartley put together a story titled Summer Schooling and Some Are Not around 1970 or 1971 (the copy I have is reprinted in Jughead with Archie Digest # 34, September 1979, but I'm unsure when it first appeared). The story revolves around everyone hitting the beach while poor Archie must attend summer school. Mr. Weatherbee is none too keen on spending the summer within the walls of Riverdale High either, so he persuades Archie to go for a drive to Riverdale's ghettos (?!) to load a large group of Black children into his jalopy!!
MR. WEATHERBEE: You're going to learn by doing! That's the best way! You want to help people? Okay, we won't waste time figuring out how to help them - we'll just go ahead and help them! Okay! Let's hit the beaches, Archie!
ARCHIE: I'll bet these [African-American] kids have never seen the ocean!
[Archie and Mr. Weatherbee look on at the children playing on the beach]
MR. WEATHEBEE: They could easily get the feeling that everything's against them, but it doesn't have to be that way!
ARCHIE: [Speaking to Black child] Y'know, pal, Robinson Crusoe walked on a beach like this - he thought he was all alone - the only man on the island - but one day he saw a footprint in the sand - and he knew it wasn't his footprint! And he knew the print hadn't been in the sand for long - or high tide would have washed it away! So because of that one little print, Robinson Crusoe knew he wasn't alone on the island! Y'know, pal, God has put thousands of prints here to show that you're not alone! And we don't have to look far to see God's prints - nature is full of them! But he wants us to play our part too - God made the rivers - we have to build the bridges! He made the mountains - we have to make the trails! There's a lot for us to do here pal and he says the most important thing for us to do is to love each other!
CHILD: I've heard people talk like that before, Archie, but I've never believed them! Y'know why I believe you, Archie?
ARCHIE: No, pal, why?
CHILD: You just didn't say you love me, you put your arm around me! And your arm says it better than your tongue, man!
Of course, Archie never bothered to learn this child's name, but he, Mr. Weatherbee, and the large convoy of Black children pile back into the jalopy and drive off singing He's Got the Whole World in His Hands. A pretty brazen story for a secular publication. Archie Comics, with their countless titles, always in need of pages to fill, published it - but it did bring a rebuke from Hartley's boss. Hartley was told point blank to cut back on the God crap. Hartley said years later, "I knew God was in control, so I respected my publisher's position and naturally complied."
An early version of the story that was my first experience of Christian Riverdale in Archie's Something Else!, was published in the very secular issue of Reggie and Me #55, May 1972, a good three years before the version in Archie's Something Else! The Hartley story was titled The Eye of the Beholder. Both stories revolve around a new student at Riverdale High who is a rebellious hippie. Although the design of the character varies somewhat in each version, both state the character's name as "Legion." Here is an excerpt from the 1972 secular version of the story:
ARCHIE: Hi, Pal! Glad to have you at Riverdale High!
LEGION: What did you mean by that crack?
ARCHIE: We want to be your friends!
LEGION: Humph! Hypocrisy turns me off! Why don't you tell the truth? Your middle class values won't let you relate to me! My life-style irritates you! Come on! Admit it!
REGGIE: Brother! You've got a real chip on your shoulders! We won't knock it off, but we'll help you lift it!
ARCHE: What's your name, pal?
LEGION: Name? My name is Legion, for we are many!
ARCHIE: Are you a poet?
LEGION: I found reality, man! Everybody else is just playing games! Like who needs that [school] bell? Are we a herd of cattle?
REGGIE: But you've got to have some system!
LEGION: System? System's a DRAG! I do my own thing!
REGGIE: You can go that way for a while but tomorrow you'll pay for it!
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Other moments in the Reggie and Me spread were touched on later. In both secular and Christian versions of the story, Legion decides to spend his time in art class, abandoning life drawing in exchange for painting protest signs.
LEGION: How does this grab you? [Legion holds up a sign that says "Society Stinks"] Come on, you lackeys! We need a real demonstration of student power to shake up the system! [Legion is surrounded by signs that read "We Want Shorter School Hours," "Homework Denys My Liberty!" and "Teachers Are Oppressive."]
REGGIE: This guy's a trouble maker!
ARCHIE: If he doesn't cool it, he's going to disrupt the whole school!
MOOSE: Shall I plant my knuckles in his whiskers?
BIG ETHEL: Wait, Moose! That's only a temporary solution! He needs something more powerful than your fist - he needs LOVE!
The Christian version is far more direct and also features Big Ethel as the savior to the hippie. It almost seems like the last panels in the secular version continue on in the Christian take. These panels may even have been in the original before publisher John Goldwater stepped in and told him to take it easy. From Archie's Something Else:
LEGION: Yeah man - well, like I've been talking to Big Ethel in the cafeteria!!! Well, I'm new here at Riverdale High - You wouldn't believe my past - I've been into everything!!! My folks are divorced - and neither of them pays any attention to me! Life seemed like a lousy trip! And then this chick started to rap - I figured she was a real cornball!!! But as Big Ethel talked - I realized she was on the level! She was concerned about me!!! And when she began to share LOVE - and JESUS - it was really something else! And y'know - it wasn't just her talking to me - I felt God talking to me too!
So Al Hartley's interpretation of the Archie gang in both the religious and secular camps portrayed them as straight-shooting, anti-hippie, all-American kids. But every Archie artist, although following the same basic model sheets, displayed their own style that made them identifiable. Beyond mere brush strokes, each artist's interpretation also slightly altered the Riverdale gang's state of mind. In Archie #198 from March 1970, Harry Lucey's story, The Terrible Tube, has Archie trying to convince his father the virtues of the exact thing he and the gang had been denouncing Legion for in the Hartley tale.
ARCHIE'S FATHER: Is there anything on [television] of an educational nature?
ARCHIE: There's a great one on! It's live from Pugnacious University! Now let's all sit back and grab ourselves a little higher education from old P.U!
TELEVISION: Our next program comes to you live from P.U. Campus.
STUDENTS ON TV: Bring up more rocks! Fascist Pig! BURN! BURN! Police brutality! Kill the fuzz! Let's take over the administration building!
ARCHIE: Boy! Demonstrations turn me on! Pop! You turned it off!
ARCHIE'S FATHER: Before it turns my stomach!
ARCHIE: Pop! Protests are in! That's where it's at!
In Lucey's version, Archie Andrews turns out to be even more sympathetic to the protest movement than Legion the Hippie.
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God's Smuggler was next, a campy tale of a Christian gentleman smuggling bibles into Communist countries. The story has him battling wits against Lenin look-a-likes and sadistic, goateed, book store owners.
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DILTON: [In the 1890s] no one calls a policeman a pig! And women are treated more than equals.
REGGIE: Come off it, Dilton! There are plenty of things wrong in [the 1890s] too!
DILTON: Of course! But have we made things better or worse?
REGGIE: Well, I guess it's true - the air and water [were] purer ...
DILTON: What about the people? [Were] they purer?
ARCHIE: Y'know gang, I think Dilton's got a point... There [was] something different about ... people ... they seem happier ... and families seem a lot closer ... Man! It would be great if our world could find that spirit!
VERONICA: But where do you look for it?
BETTY: That's easy! You look up!
So the concept of Christian Archie comics was born. At the start of 1973, Spire introduced the first Christian Archie comic plus a total of twenty more Christian comic books, all written and illustrated by Hartley.
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CHRISTIAN GUY: Looks like we've got a new customer!
ARCHIE: Jughead's always ready to eat!
CHRISTIAN GUY: Sort of makes a spiritual point, doesn't he?
ARCHIE: What do you mean?
CHRISTIAN GUY: Well, Jesus said the food of this world would never really satisfy!
JUGHEAD: Oh, I wouldn't say that!
CHRISTIAN GUY: Yeah, there are a lot of things that seem cool for a while... but sooner or later we can choke on those things.
JUGHEAD: Cough! Cough!
CHRISTIAN GUY: Many of these kids were hung up on all kinds of thing - drugs - sex - you name it - but they've found a better way to fill their lives!
JUGHEAD: This guy's one of those religious nuts - let's split!
[a woman brings in more food]
JUGHEAD: However, we don't have to panic - there's no need to rush!
CHRISTIAN WOMAN: Since you like our free food - you shouldn't miss out on the greatest gift of them all!
ARCHIE: What's that???
JUGHEAD: Careful, Arch - she's one of "them" too!
CHRISTIAN WOMAN: I'm talking about God's love and grace and forgiveness wrapped up in Jesus Christ!
JUGHEAD: I've never been very religious!
CHRISTIAN WOMAN: I'm not talking about a stuffy religion - I'm talking about a living relationship! Jesus can fill your life with a real power and peace that you wouldn't believe!
JUGHEAD: Even MY Life?
CHRISTIAN WOMAN: Christ has become real for all of us! He can do the same for you!
JUGHEAD: Maybe we ought to hang in here a little longer, Arch!
ARCHIE: Don't tell me you want to eat more?
JUGHEAD: No - I want to HEAR MORE!
With that, Archie and his gang were born again, and would remain so, at least in this odd netherworld, for the next eleven years. All six of the Christian Archies released in 1973 are interesting, campy, hilarious and bizarre in their own special ways.
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JUGHEAD: Sheriff! Sheriff!
ARCHIE: Ah, here comes my faithful Indian companion, Pronto.
JUGHEAD: Sheriff, they got heap big trouble at the school!
[Betty is shouting in front of the school, dressed as the old west school teacher.]
BETTY: When they took the bible out of school - more and more problems came in! Now we have books that say we all came from monkeys and the students are starting to act like it! Our young people deserve better than this.
[Betty then holds up a school book titled Evolution is For the Birds and You] Sheriff Archie approaches the wealthy Mr. Lodge for help, and with his financial support, opens up a Christian bookstore to counter the evolution propaganda! He delivers the books in a stage coach that says Fleming H. Revell Co. on the side.
ARCHIE: Ah, here comes my faithful Indian companion, Pronto.
JUGHEAD: Sheriff, they got heap big trouble at the school!
[Betty is shouting in front of the school, dressed as the old west school teacher.]
BETTY: When they took the bible out of school - more and more problems came in! Now we have books that say we all came from monkeys and the students are starting to act like it! Our young people deserve better than this.
[Betty then holds up a school book titled Evolution is For the Birds and You] Sheriff Archie approaches the wealthy Mr. Lodge for help, and with his financial support, opens up a Christian bookstore to counter the evolution propaganda! He delivers the books in a stage coach that says Fleming H. Revell Co. on the side.
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HOT DOG: It's strange being a human being - after you enjoy all those wild things - then what??? There must be more to life than this!!!
[Hot Dog wanders into a Christian discussion group]
CHRISTIAN MAN: Welcome - there's just one thing that separates man from animal -
HOT DOG: He's speaking to me!
CHRISTIAN MAN: Animals can eat and think and communicate to a degree - just as man does - but they can't worship!
HOT DOG: Worship? What's that?
CHRISTIAN MAN: Animals just aren't capable of faith!
HOT DOG: Faith???
CHRISTIAN MAN: And without faith man becomes an animal!
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STEWARDESS: I heard you're going around the world...
ARCHIE: Right! And our first stop is New York City!!!
STEWARDESS: The big apple??? I thought missionaries went to jungles!!!
ARCHIE: Well, most cities in the world have become jungles!!! There are young missionaries in every city in the world - sharing God's good news!
[The next panel depicts an anonymous character speaking to a hippie, presumably, high on acid]
MISSIONARY: God loves you, pal - he'll bring you off a bad trip - if you'll let him!
Later in the issue Archie and Jughead meet a doctor in an unspecified country, working in a small village.
ARCHIE: Doc, how do these folks pay you?
DOCTOR: They don't - God does!!! God led me here from the United States ... I'm glad I'm a medical missionary!!! I have no worries about malpractice suits!!!
Archie's Clean Slate, another 1973 entry, starts with Archie being terrorized by the devil, dragged by the ankles into a pit of fire. The issue has both Archie and Big Ethel overwhelmed with a desire to be popular. However, Betty Cooper, the blue eyed and blonde haired staple of Archie comics, convinces them that their desires are misguided. For whatever reason, the more aryan looking Betty, time and time again, is shown to be the most Christian of all the characters, usually speaking at the end of each story as the voice of reason, delivering a speech that converts one of the gang or shows them the err of their ways via biblical lessons. In this ish, Betty points out a newspaper article about an actress's suicide stating, "Some girls have found that popularity isn't the answer..." just prior to launching into a spell about desiring God instead. The "clean slate" referred to in the comic's title is explained in the last story titled Final Exam. Two new Archie characters named Jerry and Debbie are introduced as Riverdale High staples despite having never appeared in an Archie comic before (or since).
JERRY: There they go - Mr. Clean and the fairy princess! Tell me [Betty] - does your halo ever give you a headache?
DEBBIE: It must be awful - going to school with us sinners!
JERRY: Come on, Archie - why don't you try a new life style and live a little?
ARCHIE: You know how I feel about drugs and liquor, Jerry!
JERRY: Man! You really are out of it! [Jerry and Debbie climb into a car]
ARCHIE: Jerry! Let me take you home! You shouldn't drive now!
DEBBIE: Let's split, Jerry - before he starts to preach!
Debbie's statement is probably what most kids were thinking once they started reading one of these comics.
ARCHIE: They were great kids - before they got into the drug scene!
BETTY: Arch, we've got to help them to see when God fills our life, you don't need anything else!
Jerry and Debbie speed down the road and get into a horrible car accident. Laying amidst the rubble, Debbie looks up at Betty and says, "Betty - I - I've learned plenty about life - but nothing about death - and I'm scared!!! You tried to tell me there's more to life but I'd never listen! Well, I want to live differently - I want a clean slate!"
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ARCHIE: Reg - you seem speechless!!!
BETTY: Cat get your tongue???
REGGIE: No - I - I think GOD did!!!
The last Christian Archie comic of 1973 had a low print run and is today one of the most scarce, titled Christmas with Archie. 1973 was Hartley's most prolific year and there is no doubt he was inspired by the concept of Christian comics. 1973 included several other interesting Christian titles under the Spire banner.
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PROSTITUTE: You speakin' about love, man???
TOM SKINNER: That's my bag!!!
PROSTITUTE: It's mine too, honey - and I'm ready!!!
TOM SKINNER: Have you ever tried making love to God???
PROSTITUTE: Man, I can't groove off God! I've got to make a living!!!
A few other examples of Hartley's attempt at Harlem vernacular in this comic book include, "If we pull off this rumble tomorrow we'll be number one in Harlem!!!" "Right on!!! The fuzz will freak out!!!" "I'll dig some rock [and roll] while I plan!!!" "Hey, Tom, I wanna rap - last night when you gave us that Jesus jazz - I had my knife ready!!!" Much of the comic is laced with more of the same. Skinner, like Landry, coupled the All-American concept of Jesus with the All-American love affair with football. Throughout the seventies he served as "team chaplain" for the New York Giants, New York Jets and Washington Redskins.
You can download all of Up From Harlem, Gospel Blimp, and Hansi as pdf files here.
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Through the Gates of Splendor was based on a book that profiles Christian missionaries in Ecuador. At one point in the comic, the missionaries are mocked for their decision to go to Latin America by racist naysayers, "Why throw your life away for a bunch of savages??? People here have every opportynity to hear and study God's word - those jungle Indians have none!!!"
Other 1973 titles were My Brothers' Keeper, Live it Up, Crossfire, The Hiding Place (also a film) and In His Steps - camp classics - all. Two more titles were directed at a younger audience with Spire's 'Kiddies Christian Comics' line: God Is... and Noah's Ark. Hartley took a well deserved break in 1974 and started up with the Christian Archies and more film adaptations in 1975.
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DILTON: Well, I'm not interested in girls or dates!!! Do you have books on ecology? Or solar energy??? What about sociology???
JUGHEAD: Try the bible!!! Who can tell us more about things than the one who put it all together???
REGGIE: What about sports???
ARCHIE: The bible tells you how to be a winner!
REGGIE: Oh, brother! You guys are turning into a couple of freaks! Selling Christian books on the beach is just too much!
ARCHIE: Well, it sure beats pushing drugs and porno here!
The snide look on Archie's face as he shouts this Reggie's way indicates that Mr. Mantle had been hustling something on the side and that his 1973 conversion in Archie's Sonshine didn't last.
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Born Again was first a book written by Chuck Colson, then a film starring Dean Jones, and then a comic book by Al Hartley. Colson was chief counsel to Richard Nixon when Watergate went down. The comic book depicts Colson as an unknowing, innocent bystander, with no prior knowledge of the Watergate break-ins, or any dubious acts perpetrated by Nixon, Henry Kissinger, or any other members of his staff. The comic shows Colson going to prison in order to prevent another colleague from taking blame. However, no guilt or remorse is evident, although Colson does emphasize his faith in God.
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Dear Al,
I'm in prison because I got off on the wrong foot and made a mistake! I read a couple of your Spire Comics and had my eyes opened to a lot of things! I'd like to get some Spire comics for my kid brother!
Carl C.
Al Hartey Responds:
Thousands of Christians all across America are distributing Spire Comics FREE in prisons!
One wonders reading Carl's letter if he isn't actually Chuck Colson.
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JUGHEAD: Shall we pray???
MOOSE: Pray???
JUGHEAD: Sure! I like to thank God for my food!
MOOSE: Duh - I never do that!!!
JUGHEAD: My dog doesn't either! He just eats!!! He can't understand the real miracles God puts into our food!
It is rather remarkable that Big Moose didn't clobber Jughead for comparing him to his pooch, but none of the Archie characters ever stayed true to their traditional persona in Christian Archie comics.
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Archie and Mr. Weatherbee continued the new focus on cross promoting other Spire products within the story itself. Everyone is off to summer camp in this edition and camp counselors Jughead and Archie stumble upon a rotating rack of Barney Bear comic books in the middle of the lodge. A crowd of young kids are very excited at the prospect of all these comics and demand Archie read them to them (after hearing the content, I'm sure that they were disapointed). In the middle of the comic there is a order form that encourages schools to order Spire Christian comics in large quantities. A drawing of Miss Hagley has her saying, "Spire Comics are the most popular books in our school library!" Adjacent, Miss Beazley and Svenson the Janitor explain, "They're big in the cafeteria too!" "Und no von trows dem avay!!!" Maybe not - but as soon as I hit the age of fourteen, I traded all of mine in at the local shop in exchange for some Mad Magazines.
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Dear Al:
I ran away from home and joined a carnival! I wanted to be part of something exciting! But I learned that life is no carnival - and a carnival is no life! Then someone gave me a Spire Comic and I learned that Jesus loves me! Jesus has given me a whole new life! And that's really exciting!!!
Ken W
Salt Lake City, Utah
It's the telltale triple exclamation that gives away Al Hartley as the author of this one. The issue also featured something new. Archie's Prayer Page, very similar to the letters page in tone, it had the added tome of asking readers to pray for the writer of the letter.
My sister is into drugs and my folks don't know about it! Please pray that she'll turn to Jesus and kick the habit before she messes up our whole family!
Bernice K
Brooklyn, NY
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Archie's Roller Coaster starts with Spire cross promotion right off the bat. Archie and Veronica are wandering around a fair ground. Ronnie demands that Arch win her a stuffed Barney Bear doll (as far as I know, no Spire Christian Comics merchandise was ever peddled beyond the comics themselves, although the turnstile racks with the metal plates at the top advertising "Spire Christian Comics on Sale Here" might score a few dollars - I saw one a couple years ago in a Trotskyist bookstore). A trip passed the funny mirrors gives Betty the opportunity to pontificate to everyone about the bible being God's mirror.
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History of nineteen fifties Catholic Church Comic: Treasure Chest of Fun and Fact
The Stupid Comics Website Deconstructs Spire's Archie and Big Ethel
Download Spire Christian Comics as pdf files including:
Archie's Something Else!
Archie's Parables
Archie's Date Book
The Cross and the Switchblade
God's Smuggler
The Hiding Place
My Brother's Keeper
There's a New World Coming
Up From Harlem
Crossfire
Hansi The Girl Who Loved the Swastika
Hello, I'm Johnny Cash
In His Steps
Born Again
Jesus
Adventures with the Brothers: Cult Escape
Adventures with the Brothers: Hang in There
Labels: Christianity, Comic Books, comics, weird